Mirroring our behaviour
It’s curious how sometimes there are people we like a lot, others we don’t care about, and others who cause us sometimes an almost unjustifiable reaction on something we don’t know exactly where it comes from: we have a bias against them, their presence or what they do bothers us, their very nature annoys us, or the simple fact of them being close makes us burst or get angry. Nothing to say about the first category of people whom we find ourselves in harmony with, or – at worst – we don’t care about or feel neutral. Our chances to grow as an individual lie in the third category, those who bother or irritate us.
Your outer reality, as a mirror of your inner reality
The world surrounding us and manifesting around us is no more than a projection of our way of seeing and feeling life, of how we are. Everything you can see at this moment is a reflection of yourself, it returns some of the attributes you are projecting to the outside, like a mirror would. The downside is that it also returns that which we are not necessarily conscious about, as the content we project lies within deep strata of the mental body we are not aware of.
People, the best mirrors
Just as the things we have or environment around us reflect what and how we are, people around us are the best indicator of those parts in our unconscious and subconscious mind we are projecting to the outside. Therefore, the only way to know what is being cooked up within yourself – that which is not coming to light nor being dealt with correctly – is to observe behaviours of those close to you, who are no more than warning signs so you can work on this issue within yourself.
Finding out what to deal with
When someone irritates, bothers or annoys you, it is time to inspect closely their behaviour. People and situations are, by their nature, neutral. Unless “something” within us pops up as an impulse or stimuli, they do not cause any reaction to us. Nothing is good or bad, bothers or pleases, unless there is a comparative item within us able to press the button of the correct reaction.
When you feel your boss is manipulative and a control freak, or one of your co-workers is lazy at work, or a smartass family member drives you mad, you’ve got no more and no less than three fantastic opportunities of healing three elements buried within your unconscious.
Imagine you really react in any of these situations automatically, without knowing why. You can’t stand manipulation, you don’t tolerate that person always speaking about him/herself, you don’t tolerate control. Why have these feelings popped up from you and not from another person in your same circle?The matter lies in your internal blockages and feelings.
Not being able – in the majority of the cases – of directly realising when we have an issue to resolve internally, our subconscious mind provides the mapping of the outer reality so we can notice what we have the urge to work on ourselves. Should we focus on certain characteristics on others (as an example), it’s almost 100% certain we have pending/unresolved manipulative, fears, control and pompous issues within ourselves.
The only way of not being disturbed by other people’s behaviour is by not having pending issues within ourselves that activate the warning signs when we see it. And the only way of resolving issues within ourselves is by bringing them to light, digging them up from our subconscious mind and accepting them. Accepting that, at present, we’ve got an egoic subpersonality trying to own every conversation in which it participates; accepting that we feel hurt by something or we’re trying to manipulate or control others, or…etc… The only way to unblock that energy and evolve is becoming aware that the same feeling we don’t like to see in others exists within us.
Denial isn’t the path
If you’re not able to find within the behaviour that bothers you, you’ve got to look much deeper. The deeper it’s buried, the higher, more repetitive and stronger disturbance you will find in its outer reflection. Denying it by thinking “the other person is the way she is and it’s not my fault” is an excuse. The other person isn’t one way or another, her way of being with you is completely neutral, as well as your way of being with her is completely neutral, except for those things in which your behaviour is a reflection of the issues the other person must resolve. When there are no pending issues, everybody is wonderful.
Have a look at your current close and more direct circle. Examine the behaviours you reflect on others and others in you, and meditate about it. Bring them to light, bring them to your conscious mind and accept them. Something accepted and integrated loses all its power and becomes a learned lesson, leaving you free space to keep on solving remaining pending issues.