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Continuing with the previous entry about the deprogramming of the automaton everybody carry inside, I started to do some exercises this week to strengthen the sensation of “separation” that I have when I manage to keep my consciousness in “control”, or when I “get lost” and then immediately activate any of these automatic behavioral programs. Basically I have set out to generate a clearer separation between the different components and realize what I perceive when one or the other seems to be predominating as the perceiver of my physical reality.

Who’s who in here?

The first thing I had to clearly identify is “who’s in control” when I think “Who’s in control? I don’t know if I can explain it. To reason that there must be a part of my reasoning and that something drives the commands of this body, I must be able to notice that a component of my being, which is not an automatic program, nor does it seem to be my soul or consciousness, has a perception of both sides.

It is what I have called the “I observer” or “I conscious”, and I imagine that I do not discover anything new to anyone using this term.

So at this moment, whoever is analyzing whether some automatic program manages my life or whether my consciousness is the one that is present or wants to be present, is my I conscious. Me, talking to myself and addressing the rest of the parts of me.

Consciousness in control

I have very identified the next component, the soul. When my conscious mind forces to be this one who take the control, it appears the perception of the outside world through the lenses of it. Is what I explained to you in the previous article: living in the “now”. When I voluntarily “force” to my innermost consciousness to come to the surface and take the reins, I flow with the environment. (though is the conscious or thinking mind who explains it at the moment). There’s a sense of lightness and curiosity that caught my eye a lot the first few times, some kind of “come on, what is this?!” as if I would have taken that consciousness out of a basement (usually covered by the rational mind and automatic programs) and as if it rejoice on being in direct contact with the reality outside. Initially, It’s kind of freaky at first because I’m in a timeless “limbo”, I’m just there, and then when my conscious mind and my ego program take over again they hallucinate with the perceptions they’ve had as if a child saw something for the first time and was amazed to see it. I think it’s the sign that I should take my “inner consciousness/soul” out more and take a walk around the world taking control of the physical experiences I’m involved in. In this regard, I believe children walk a large part of the time in this state, without having generated or implemented programs or patterns of behavior.

I find however a small drawback to this state, which is interesting, but which I think is not fully functional for 3D physical experiences. And I’m pretty sure that someone who was 100% of the time with his soul in control and on the surface of the connection with the outside world would find it difficult to deal with whatever came his way (maybe I’m wrong and it’s just lack of practice), but of course he would be in a state of timeless “fluidity” that would make him see the world in another way. I wouldn’t be surprised if someone who could achieve something like nirvana or permanent enlightenment had simply managed to have their higher consciousness confront the physical world leaving aside the rest of the functionalities of the body in which they incarnate.

A small scheme

As always, the way I’ve been able to outline it is more or less like this:

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Of course, as I was experimenting with it being the consciousness of my superior components or the conscious mind with the ego which alternated control of my perception of the outside world, automatic programs did not come into play, but was enough that I had a distraction, as the phone ringing or receiving an email and start reading it, so each one of them (of the programs), would be activated and lose all previous perception to start acting again and responding in automaton mode to external stimuli. It is clear that they have all the power and control unless you really work to avoid them (the “I observer” speaks, who realises when automatic behavioural programmes are activated or deactivated).

Asking the subconscious

To be able to “discuss” these issues with other parts of myself that are not normally accessible, especially the subconscious, I use the automatic writing (which is the way Neale Donald Walsch wrote his famous “Conversations with God” trilogy. Since I already have experience with it and over the years I’ve managed to get my subconscious information flowing naturally, I’ve made a serie of questions to understand if the scheme, at least in my case, was correct and what to do with the Programs. Basically my subconscious replies that those programs neither the Higher Self nor the deeper consciousness that I possess needs or wants them, but it is not “easy” to eliminate or deactivate them because they are part of the programming and structure of the human being since our creation as a species. In fact, I don’t think they can be eliminated, they can stop being activated if I empower the control of the Higher Self or the consciousness of the soul 100% of the time, it’s the same thing I talked about in the previous article and what Tolle talks about in the “Power of Now”. Highlighting a little that Gurdjieff’s teachings to deactivate this automaton (which for me is a great reference on the study of the human being) are a work of all life.

One thing that I do notice is that every time I force a program to deactivate because I realize that I am reacting automatically, I find it less difficult to keep the “I observer” in control a little more and if I force myself to stay in the “now”, I get to stay a little longer before, for whatever reason, I lose that control again. I don’t intend to fight with myself constantly, but I do intend to increase that control by the part that interests me most to see if I stop behaving automatically in those aspects of my life where, without realizing it, I am like everybody else, one more automaton in a world of machines.