When we feel attacked
We have all felt attacked in some occasions. At an emotional or a psychical way, I mean. It is one of those things that cost the most to assimilate and integrate, especially when we do not understand why people project against themselves part of their frustrations, anger or emotions that sometimes do not have sense. Those “attacks” (to call them in some way), go directly to hurt, in most of the cases to some of the facets of our character. It may affect our desire to be recognized, accepted, loved, heard, etc. It may affect our desire for innate survival (active automatic defense mechanisms), or it may affect archetypes of our ego (the ego understood as the program that manages the sum of personalities that we are, at the mental level) of introversion or stop listening.
Reactivating our own patterns that must be worked
Some time ago I spoke in another post about the need to examine in ourselves what kind of reaction that “attack” arouses and why it affects us. In many cases, we are activating a part of ourselves that needs work in the area of personal growth because if something makes us burn in anger, the only people responsible for this reaction are us, but the same situation could result totally indifferent to another person.
So, why do I want to hide, to get angry, to get revenge or to kick that person for what he has said or done to me?
For years I learned a meditation when I studied the archetypes of the ego (see articles of the 2007 and of the 2008 in the archives of the blog), where I “mentally” dialogue with all those different facets of my character. I began by saying, “Let’s see, who is out there offended by what they have said or done to us today?”. And my Cowardly Self came out because during meditation I made him speak in the plan of the therapy group (we have to use our imagination. This is a process of internal self-healing and nothing else). And my Cowardly Self said, “I’ve been hurt by this and that.” And suddenly my Warrior Self said, “and I have come to defend ourselves, because how dare they do or tell us such a thing …?” And then the “Controlling Self” spoke: well, now let’s think of an strategy to return him the attack !! … etc ..
I let out all that different parts of me that had to say something. And then the analysis began. Ok, but if we have felt (me in meditation speaking to all my characters) like this, it will be for some reason! For example, could it be a need to be heard that is not being addressed? Or could it be that we see ourselves reflected in that person because we have done something similar? So I continued with everything that came to mind. And finally, the “Higher Self” or the deepest and the wisest awareness of ourselves showed during the last part of the meditation. It suddenly appeared , when we had analyzed and “cured” the reason for all the reactions we had had to this or that situation. It was always like a balm of wisdom.
All are lessons
The conclusions were always the same. First, the person who attacks you is often projecting their own fears, frustrations in life, problems and the desire to be accepted, recognized or loved. Many times those attacks are not even “personal”, but you have been touched because you were in that place where you were or because something you have caused has made that person jump for something that It has to solve in itself. Understanding this, we understand a lot about human nature within interpersonal relationships. We may have been a catalyst because we needed each other to do that internal work.
And in second place, we have detected in ourselves a reaction that we did not expect as a consequence of a feeling that we did not know we had and that we needed to be worked on. As always, nothing happens by chance. Universe put on us on the table millions of small moments in life so that we can learn from all of them. Everything that happens to us in this life is a small lesson, and all we have to do is obtain the knowledge it offers to us.